Sooo a little bit about me...
In the beginning of my college career, I majored in Music Performance. I spent the first two year studying and learning what I could about music but was slowly realizing that even though I loved music and I loved the community I was surrounded with at school, I had ABSOLUTELY no IDEA what I was doing with what I was learning and how I was going to make money. I slowly turned into another one of those music majors who is "converted" into thinking that a degree in music is a waste of time... I think it depends really and what your goals are whether it is a "waste of time" or not. For me, it probably was a waste of time and money. I mean I had no direction of what I wanted to do with it, I had minimal skill at my instruments, and I was kind of scared to explore what I could be good at for risk of humiliation and failure. My whole life I had been and still am used to excelling in my academics. With music, it's a whole different ball park. You are going to fail a lot before you get good at it, whereas with academics it came naturally for me to get good grades and be a good, respectful student.
With a little push from many different things in my life at the time, I switched majors and also schools. It was a pretty big transition in my life looking back on it. At the time, I wasn't even thinking too much with how big it was, I just knew I needed to do it and that it had to be done. Now here I am at this new school with a completely different track in life. Unfortunately, my new degree program wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was the closet thing they had to what I thought I wanted so I went for it anyways. After a couple of years with this new program, I have realized that it only makes me a little happy but mainly miserable. I tried tagging on minors to my degree. First, I was studying for a biology minor and realized that wasn't really what I wanted. Next, I tagged on a music minor only to realize that it is a waste of money to get it because the classes offered for a music minor are things I can learn outside of the minor. I only really cared about it because it would show on a piece of paper that I accomplished at least something with music in college. I thought this music minor would make me happy though. That it would bring back the spark of what I had when I was studying music full time. I only care a little bit for what I am learning now but it is too late in the game now to change and honestly I just want to be done with school for a little bit in my life. I have never lived a life where I haven't gone to class and earned grades. I don't really know what it is like to have time to yourself to really delve into who you are as a person. I have this desire to do so many other things than go to university.
The good news is that I am graduating soon with a B.S. in Sport and Exercise Science and I am proud of that. I am proud that I will be one of the first people in my family to have a bachelors. I am proud of myself and how far I have come. It only took a little bit of writing this all down to understand what I feel about this whole journey. I am proud. I am thankful. Anddddd I am ready to be finished and walking across that stage!! I will be free to do many of the other things I want to do in life. I am ready to do some soul searching and to fine tooth comb exactly what I want and need out of life. Everything I need to know is already within me. I just need to sit down and listen.
Maybe my little story about college will encourage someone out there who has no idea what they are doing in University and feels lost. You are not alone. It's okay to feel lost. Everyone feels lost at some point. We are all finding our way. Don't lose hope. Have faith.
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